I don’t like this, that bothers me, why is my life like this, why have I not accomplished that, not feeling good right now, need to do this, need to do that, why do I not do more of this, I never do enough of that, this person is always doing that, I dont want to deal with that, so much to do, dont want to do anything, leave me alone, dont want to be left alone, dont know what I want…… (and on and on).
When a bad mood comes upon me, these are the stream of thoughts that seem to colonize my mind. It can go on and on and it is best to stay away from me. I must admit that when I get into a bad mood I feel guilty. After all I am a mindfulness instructor, therapist and mindfulness writer so I should not be experiencing such negative states, right? I should be happy the majority of the time, right? But from time to time I get down and it just seems to be the way it goes.
Bad moods are like dark winter skies. Even though there is a blue sky somewhere out there, dark clouds move in and obscure the blue, making everything cold and gloomy. Maybe something or someone (including myself) triggers my bad mood or maybe I am just not feeling so good physically. I grew up in a whirlpool of bad moods, so maybe my brain has been orchestrated to be in a bad mood. Whatever the case, like Dante who found himself in a datk wood midway through his life, I still often find myself in bad moods.
In my mindfulness practice I have this saying: so it is like this now. The idea is that I notice what is going on in and around me in the present moment and I make a willful effort to just be with it as it is. I dont try and change anything. I just notice what is going on in my mind and body, focus on my breath and the sensations, and tell myself: so it is like this now. Like the cold and dark winter sky, I realize that this too shall pass. Everything passes. What matters most is that I am able to accept things as they are, sour mood and all.
So it is like this now……